© Marriage: the Waiting Season

THE FLESH

When I was single and before getting saved (I prefer to say “before receiving revelation” because we were all saved when Jesus took the cross over 2,000 years ago, Amen!) Prior to, I was involved in a long-term relationship.  That relationship failed miserably, leaving me with little hope that I could find true love.  After all, when you live in the secular world surrounded by secular people, they are being led by the world and engaging in worldly behaviors.  In that scene, there are many who do not know the sanctity of marriage and live their lives wandering aimlessly.

Matter of fact, it had become my belief as well.  I had no interest in marriage because of the legalities of it – I didn’t want to find myself in another broken relationship, feeling stuck and waiting on the decisions of a judge or magistrate to dictate what would happen with my life and when. I wanted to be free to leave as I saw fit. But this was not a healthy mentality to have, although I didn’t know it at the time. According to the world, it was a wise decision.  But according to the Lord, it was foolishness.

Sometime after, I was involved in another long-term relationship, and although that one failed as well for different reasons, that relationship gave me hope that there were indeed decent men in the world who could and would love me the way I needed to be loved; that it was possible to have a good relationship with someone who would treat me with kindness and respect, and in which I could do the same and be appreciated for what I contributed to our relationship and our lives.

But experiencing a second heart ache left me reluctant to get involved in another relationship because I wanted to protect my heart.  I decided I needed time to be alone, but the truth was I didn’t always want to be alone. And during that time, the Lord continued to call me and draw me closer to Him.

James 4:7 “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the enemy, and he will flee from you.”

God led me to a wonderful church and I learned a lot about spiritual matters. I learned how to establish and grow in my relationship with God and grow spiritually in my heart and soul.  This experience changed my entire life.

Of the many things I learned, one of those things was the sanctity of marriage.  It took some time for me to understand the importance of marriage in God’s eyes, and the importance of protecting this vessel that belongs to the Holy Spirit. But God gave me the revelation and self-control that I needed to endure in the season of wait, and I tried to do the best I could.

In the church, although there was a singles ministry, many of the members were married and growing their families. It seemed like almost everyone around me was finding joy in their relationships and marriages, except me.  At times I prayed to the Lord to ask Him when my turn would come along.

Proverbs 19:21 NIV “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

It was during this season that I began to pray about what God expected of me. God knew my heart and I was called into a special meeting with the senior pastor of the church and her group leaders, which was an honor to participate. During the meeting I learned why the Lord had called me there.

I learned how to pray for my future spouse. I learned how to pray for my kingdom purpose.  I learned how to pray so that I would be joyful and satisfied in my relationship with the Lord above all else.  I needed to learn how to be happy with God alone.  I needed to accept that God had plans for my life and I was not ready for those plans, as much as I wanted to be.  I learned that I needed to grow more in the spirit and allow God to prepare me for what He had in store for my life, thank You Jesus.

THE SPIRIT

Luke 18:1 ESV “And He told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.”

In that season, the Lord continued to impress in my heart and in my spirit, the importance of prayer and worship.  We need to always be in communion with Lord.  We need to always pray over every area of our lives.  We need to always seek the guidance and counsel of the Holy Spirit.  And most of all, not to lose heart during the season of wait, because what might seem like forever to us here on earth, is only but a glimpse in time in heaven, reminding us that our blessings are always just right around the corner.

We need to not become impatient in our seasons of wait.  It’s unfortunate how many people lose patience and will go for the first thing that seems promising, without knowing if this is who God truly has for them. They decide that they no longer want to be alone and that they will make a relationship work for them, then they proceed to do everything they can, in their own will, to make it work.

The problem with that is we need to rely on the Lord to direct us and lead us.  We need to rely on His patience and grace.  We need to want His favor in our lives, and desire that His will be done, not our own. When we allow God to make decisions for us, things will work out in our favor! His blessings will be upon our lives and it will spare us from much heartache.

Romans 12:2 ESV “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Impatience is a burden. I’ve seen far too many women become involved in relationships without seeking confirmation (and re-confirmation) from the Lord.  Then the relationship or marriage begins to turn sour and they are crying out, “Why Lord? Why are You allowing these things to happen? Why won’t You fix this relationship?”

The problem with this is that far too many become impatient in their seasons of wait, and begin to make decisions on their own accord, instead of waiting for the Lord. Then they expect the Lord to conform to the decisions they have made, when they were made without the Lord’s consent.  They are expecting the Lord to conform to them, rather then them conforming and submitting to the will of the Lord.

We need to let go of those worldly beliefs that we must do things on the timetable of the world, and instead wait gracefully and patiently for the Lord to do things in His perfect timing. If we wait, the Lord will orchestrate everything perfectly for us and things will work out best, for our good. But when we decide to make decisions without the Lord’s confirmations, we are forcing things and we end making decisions that can hurt us tremendously, and then we wonder why our choices, our plans, have fallen apart.

But God is a God of redemption and restoration.  He can heal what is broken and still bless you even when we fall or fail. Thank You Jesus! We need to pray with unwavering faith and not question the will of the Lord, but only to ask that He will reveal something to us by visions and dreams, confirmations and re-confirmations. The Lord is faithful to answer. And if you receive no vision, WAIT for it to come – God does not work on our timeline, but we live by His.

GRACE

Philippians 4:6 ESV “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

One of the most important prayers I learned was to pray for my future spouse, to learn how to pray for myself and to pray over our mission for the Kingdom of heaven. I needed to pray for my future husband to grow in the Lord and be prepared for his kingdom purpose as well as our marriage.  And I needed to pray those same things over myself.  God wants us to draw closer to Him and marriage is an example of the relationship that we have with Jesus.

If you want a blessed marriage that will last through eternity, then allow God to prepare you, as well as your future husband, during this time. This should be your prayer in this season! God wants us to wait gracefully and with unwavering faith. When you begin to question God, it’s a sign that your faith is easily moved. God needs for us to be strong in Him so that we can stand strong in the world.

The man God has for you may not be ready spiritually for this kingdom calling and everything it entails. You may not be ready either, even if you think you are… Because of that, it’s important to engage in prayer over yourself, your relationship with God and fulfilling your kingdom purpose, and you need to pray these same things over the life of your future husband. God wants for our marriage to be the image of Christ to others.  Our marriage must honor God with how we live and how we love our spouse.

Romans 15:13 ESV “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

While I engaged in these types of prayers, I later began to ask the Lord to bless me with visions and dreams of who my future spouse would be. And eventually the Lord answered me!  God showed me that my husband would be a man of God and He showed me specific details of his form – except for his face lol and I believe this was because God wanted me to continue praying even after I finally met my spouse.

But God did not tell me when.  However, I was grateful for the mercy of this confirmation!

Now it was up to me to keep learning and growing, and praying the same things for my future husband, and to be graceful during my season of wait.  So I continued serving in ministry, living my life for Christ, and continued to be happy in my relationship with the Lord because we need God the most above all else. I needed Him more than I needed a husband and I needed to be happy with having God alone, my Provider, my Comforter and my Strength.  And I am now happily married and the same will happen for you!  God bless you!

PRAYER:

Father God, help me to draw closer to You and help me to be joyful with You alone.  Help me to realize that I need you more than I need anything else.  I thank You that You are my Provider and the giver of all good gifts which come from heaven.  I ask that You would help me to wait gracefully during this season of wait. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and help me to grow spiritually. Help me to be who You need me to be for Your Kingdom, and help me to be who You need me to be for my future husband, that our marriage would glorify You, Lord. I pray that You are with my future husband now, that You would help him to draw closer to You, Lord, prepare him for his future ministry, and prepare him for our marriage that our unity would honor You.

I pray that You would lead and guide us in the way we should go, not allowing either of us to take a step in any direction You have not ordained for us. Bless us with confirmations and dreams of what You have for our futures, and if I do not receive visions at this time, help me to wait gracefully on You and to know that You will reveal things on Your own perfect timing as I draw closer to You and seek to grow spiritually. I thank You Father God for Your faithfulness and the plans You have for my good. Help me to bring You honor through my life and through my future marriage. In Jesus’ mighty and precious name I pray, Amen.

URWM ©

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